The 35th of May, part three

Chapter two - part one

Entry for free! Children half price!

In the dark inside of the wardrobe, Uncle Ringelhuth hit something hard. It was an old cane and he took it with him. After all, the way to the South Sea is long, he thought. And then he ran into the dark like an expert long-distance runner. High, derelict masonry lined the ghostly way at first. But suddenly the walls ended and the uncle found himself in a forest.
But this forest did not consist of trees, but flowers! Gargantuan bellflowers as high as cedars, for example. If the wind blew, their stamen hit against the walls of the blooms. It sounded as if church-bells were rung. Together with the bellflowers stood irises, camomiles, columbines and roses of delightful colours.
All the flowers in this forest were as big as century-old trees. The sun made the gigantic blossoms shine. The bellflower rang sweetly because a soft breeze was blowing.
And uncle Ringelhuth ran to-and-fro, constantly shouting: „Konrad, where are you?“
He ran for almost ten minutes before he caught up with the two runaways. Negro Caballo, the roller-skate-horse stood in front of a gigantic violet and nibbled on its green, carpet-like leaves. The nephew sat on the horse's back, looking up into the flower-trees and sucking on his thumb (even if he in fact was too grown up for that).
„I'll go mad!“, the uncle cried and dried his sweaty forehead with his handkerchief. „I'll go mad!“, he repeated. „Firstly, you run away. And secondly you drag me into a forest – well, such a forest as I never saw my entire life.“
„Incidentally, are we near the South Sea, yet?“, Konrad asked.
„Take the thumb out of your mouth when speaking to us!“, ordered the uncle. The startled Konrad did so immediately, looked at his thumb as if he had never seen it before and was very ashamed.
The horse said „Mount up!“ The uncle jumped onto the horse's back, held on to his nephew, slapped the horse with his cane and off they went!
The black horse was in an excellent mood and recited Goethe: „Who rides there so late through the night dark and drear?/The father it is, with his son so dear“
But Konrad said: „We are uncle and nephew, not father and son!“
And Ringelhuth added: „Why night? You are exagerating. Why don't you just gallop on instead?“
„Okay“, said the horse and ran even quicker through the forest of flowers.
Konrad gripped the mane and the uncle gripped Konrad. And the meat salad and the raspberry-sauce got into a fight in their stomachs. The roses shone in all colours. The bellflowers rang quietly. And uncle Ringelhuth said to himself: „I wish we were there, yet!“

Suddenly the horse stopped. „What's the matter?“, asked Konrad, who had closed his eyes during the ride.
They stood right in front of a tall wooden fence. On the fence there was a sign. And the sign read:

Here begins Cockaigne
Entry for free!
Children half price!

Uncle Ringelhuth slid slowly off the horse, took a good look at the sign and the fence and said: „Something's wrong here!“
„Why?“, asked the horse.
„The fence has no entry“, explained the uncle. Now the two others also realized that there was no door. Konrad stood on Negro Caballo's back, gripped the fence and tried to climb over it. But Ringelhuth caught the boys ankle. „You are a complete fool, my son.“, he whispered. „Do you really think you can climb into Cockaigne? Everyone knows that the most lazy people on the whole wide earth. People like that do not climb!“
But the boy was relentless. He held onto the fence's railing and slowly pulled himself up. „I can almost see over it“, he said. At that moment, a giant hand appeared out off thin air and gave him such a slap in the face that Konrad let go of the fence and fell into the grass, holding his cheek.
„You see,“ the uncle said, „one does not have to climb everytime, just because one can.“
He signaled them to be quiet, leaned against a tree and called out: „If these guys think we will climb over their blasted wall, they could not be more wrong. We'd rather stay here.“
Then he yawned theatrically and went on: „I guess the wisest move now is to have a nap.“

He had just finished that sentence, when a small door opened up in the fence, even though there had not been a door just moments ago.
A voice called out: „Please enter!“
They walked through the door. The first thing they saw was a gigantic bed. In the bed lay a fat man and said: „I'm the porter. What do you want?“
„We are heading to the South Sea“, replied uncle Ringelhuth.
„Straight ahead!“, said the porter, turned around in his bed and started to snore.
„I hope the snoring does not strain you too much“, said uncle Ringelhuth, but the fat man was already fast asleep again. Or he was to lazy to answer. Who knows?

Konrad looked at the landscape. They were obviously standing in an orchard. „Look, uncle!“, the boy shouted. „Cherries, apples, pears and plums grow on the same tree here!“
„It is more practical this way“, mused the uncle.
But the horse was not yet satisfied with Cockaigne. „As long as you still have to pick the fruits yourself, this land does not impress me that much.“
Konrad, who had looked at one of the four-fruit-trees a bit closer, waved both the uncle and the horse over. What they saw then, was really terribly practical. On each tree there was a small automat with levers and instructions: „turn left lever once: 1 peeled and cut apple“, it said. „Turn left lever twice: 1 mixed fruit salad.“ „Turn right lever once: 1 slice plum cake with cream.“
„This is great“, said the uncle and turned the right lever twice. A bell chimed and a plate of cherry jam came out off the machine.
Now all three started to work the trees and ate. The horse had the greatest hunger and ate everything from two trees and could not stop. Then uncle Ringelhuth wanted to go on. The horse said: „Just go, I will catch up with you later!“

And so Konrad and his uncle marched on deeper into Cockaigne.