the 2nd sun

what a terrible day to take up blogging again, but I feel I owe you some words.

Willi and I have been living in an open relationship for almost two years now. We had but one crisis a few weeks ago and that was sorted out. Now it is more or less over. Willi found a new guy, which would not be so bad, after all, this is an open relationship. But she has realized that he is so much more important to her and therefore, she spends almost all time with him and almost none with me.

I had almost two wonderful, happy years with Willi. I still love her and I guess I will for some time. I am still convinced that she could have been "the one" for me. Her smile still makes me happy, her touch gives me comfort.

However, I do not think I can be the man in the second row, someone you only meet when the other guy has no time. She told me today that she does not think we will be seeing each other more than once a week. Which is a bit like having a long-distance-relationship while living in the same city...

As a kind of last favor, I asked her to shave my hair today, in solidarity with my host-sister Becky. I love the Tunnells just as much as my biological family an the news that Becky had cancer shocked me deeply. While I lived in Snohomish, we did not have that much to do with each other, given that she was quite a few years older than me and had just started her own family. However, she was always dear to my heart.

Just a few hours after the shave, I had to find out that Becky had already passed away. So, instead of getting a haircut in solidarity to, it is now one in memory of Becky.
My thoughts are with every one of her family and friends, especially with her husband Mike and her kids.

I hope, you will make it through this hard time and find solace in each other. I wish I could be with you.

Love,
Gerrit

PS: if you are wondering about the title of this entry, it is the name of a song by my favourite band, Deine Lakaien, you can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqt9ZVAaKIk
It fits my current mood very well.